Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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