YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
