My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
