Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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