okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
