I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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