the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
