It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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