Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
