i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was like having sex with a tree stump
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
