it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
