How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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