Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
