Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
