At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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