is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
