Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
