Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
