...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
