I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
