The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
