no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
