Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
