I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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