grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
