I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
