i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
