i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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