I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize