In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
