Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
