yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
