I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
