we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
