therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
