Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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