Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
