If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
