walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
