is your mom at the bar?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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