If that was your dad, he is hot
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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