ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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