Me too!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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