I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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