I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
