i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
