I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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