Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
