Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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