That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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