she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
