I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
