hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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