this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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