so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
