dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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