You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
