I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
