He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
