hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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