Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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