I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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