I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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