she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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