If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
