You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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