First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
