There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
