My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
