so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
