I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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